If this is reality, I'm not interested....

The title is stolen from my young and vibrant "fashonista" cousin....who I was so privileged to spend my Thanksgiving with. I love you Hillary and thank you for listening to all of my ramblings....you are wise beyond your years....And as one other cousin said, "There are many colors of life are not always pretty..."









A dark room
With closed curtains
That light cannot penetrate.
A world where I cannot hurt others
And I can feel no pain inflicted upon me.
A place where I
Lock myself away
And I alone begin to pick up the pieces
Of my broken self.
Where dreams of loved ones gone
Do not haunt my sleep.
Like a beaten dog
Left to lick my own wounds
Growling at any human touch
That tries to say,
“Let me help you.”

And now, some Red Hot Chili Peppers to reiterate how I feel right now...
Scar Tissue
Scar tissue that I wish you saw
Sarcastic mister know it all
Close your eyes and I'll kiss you cause
With the birds I'll share
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view
With the birds I'll share
This lonely view

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”
~Howard Thurman

"I Am What I Am"

I am one who embraces the challenge.
I am one who does what others only dare.
I teach and I reach…
Though they may be far and few between.
At the end of my years, I will reflect and know,
Think and say,
Speak and feel,
All that which I have become.
All that I have embraced,
Even that which was difficult--
Because I rose to the challenge
And I was firm in my convictions.
I loved the challenge and the quest for answers—
Even the seemingly impossible ones.
I nurtured the thirst for knowledge by
never letting my own well run dry.
I am a woman who wonders, “ Do I do enough?”
Or, am I doing too much? How much more of myself can I give?
I do what I do because I am what I am.
I am a wife, a mother, a teacher, a daughter, a niece, a granddaughter, a friend.
I am what I am.
I am a work in progress,
Never perfected and in constant need of refinement.
This is me and I am what I am.
I am a poet whose words are often unrhymed.
I am a writer who writes what is on my mind.
I keep trying and I practice.
I practice to perfect an art, knowing that perfection is an unattainable goal—
Only a point to strive toward.
My heart is on my sleeve and that is only because
I am what I am.
I am a lover of the written word, the ability to speak one’s mind, and the inspiration to find one’s voice.
I am human and I am often sidetracked by the realities of life and the pains of death.
I am a writer who struggles to find the words that fit perfectly on the page—
Regardless of how those words are interpreted by those who know me less than myself—
By those who think they know me.
I am a teacher who teaches respect,
Knowing that the hidden curriculum has a place of importance
And respect for one’s self and others will benefit my students
farther in life than any multiple choice test.
I am strong, but even I need reassurance and positive reinforcement to do
the insurmountable tasks that consume my day.
Even with strength comes doubt---
But I have a higher power whose voice reminds me
that He has made me who I am.
And He gives me a will to strive to do more.
Never to be perfect, but always changing,
Always learning, and always growing,
Which is the essence of life.

“You have a choice. You can throw in the towel or use it to wipe the sweat off your face.” ~Gatorade

When I look back on the time in my life when I began running, I have to laugh at myself. I wouldn’t say I was introduced to running. Rather, running just introduced itself to me. My first feeble attempt at running happened by accident. It was a half-hearted attempt to rush through a one mile walking workout. That first lap around the track almost killed me. I remember collapsing onto the ground, flat on my back, and staring at the bright blue January sky. I could have sworn the earth was spinning as I desperately tried to catch my breath and simultaneously coughed up half a lung. I almost crawled back to my car and prayed that no one actually saw what I considered a total disaster. I was worn out and sore for days, but I couldn’t let myself believe the result of that effort was all I was “capable” of. So, I went back out to the track. For a month, I began running a little every day. I set a goal to be able to run one mile without stopping or keeling over, gasping for breath. I told no one but my husband, who honestly didn’t understand where this new “one mile” goal was coming from. Nine months later, despite many sarcastic remarks and insane looks from some family and friends, I ran my first half-marathon. I crossed that finish line, my first one ever, and it was official: I was a runner.

I still catch sarcasm and crazy comments from my friends, but I just smile when they call me “Forrest Gump.” Sometimes I think the only people who understand my need to run are my husband and my daddy. But then I remember that there are millions of other people who have running fever and sign up for races all across the country during every month of the year. We can’t all be crazy!

In 2007, I adopted my dog Sophie. She quickly became my new and preferred running partner. She lifted me out of a “running rut” and kept me going out to run in the cold. I remember climbing a steep hill in my neighborhood one day with Sophie. She was right by side, matching me step for step, when a neighbor shouted, “Hey! Who’s pulling who up that hill?” I replied with the first thing that came to my mind. “We’re a team!” I shouted back.

I’ll always love to run with Sophie, but now I have a new team to run with. They are 21 boys and girls who make up Morehead’s Cross Country team. They call me “Coach” and sometimes when I hear that name, it still takes a second to remember they’re talking to me. I’m new at this coaching thing, and I never played organized sports, so I don’t have a great mentor to model my coaching philosophy after. I’ll be the first to admit that I am learning as I go, but I know two things for sure: I love running and I love my team.

Working out with the team has forced me to return to the basics of running. I’ve had to lay down the ipod and reconnect with the sound of my feet hitting the ground. Before coaching, I could run without the conversation of others, but I never wanted to run without music. Now, the music that fills my ears is the sound of the team cheering each other on as we run hill repeats. And somehow, everyday, each member of the team returns for more. More running, more pushing our limits, more soreness, more sweat. We haven’t won every meet, but our times keep improving. It’s like we all had to start with that very first lap. We know that the first lap, the first mile, and the first race may not be pretty; but we know we’re capable of more, so together we’re working toward our goals.

Some people think that winning is the most important thing, but for a runner, the most important things are often improving and finishing. Coach Skip Prosser said WIN meant focusing on “What’s Important Now.”

Grandpa Jack

Dear Grandpa,
My earliest memories of you are the five dollar bills you gave me each time I came to visit. I remember being the only little one for quite some time. I followed Jamie around and copied everything he did. He picked on me a lot, but you made sure I usually got my way.

I remember following you around to see whatever you were building or fixing at the time. You never shooed me away. You always told me all about what you were building and the names of your tools. You always let me think I was helping.

When I got older, I remember begging you and Jamie to play the guitar together. I would sit in the floor and listen, smiling from ear to ear. Grandma would tap her foot and sing along too. Those are my favorite memories.

I will never forget all the lunches I ate sitting with you and Grandma. I loved being in that kitchen with the both of you. I loved coming to your house that was more than a house. To me, that house where you created a home represented so many of the things I searched for throughout my life. That is where I found unchanging love and the connection to the pieces I was missing for so long.

Grandpa, you could always make me smile. Even when our days grew shorter, you and I would sit in the sunshine, drinking our Pepsi, and have our talks. Those are special talks that I will always cherish. I speak for all of your grandchildren, from the very oldest to the very youngest, when I say that we are proud to be your grandchildren. As my Lydia said, the one thing we will remember the most about our Grandpa Jack is loving you. We thank you and grandma for giving us a legacy of unchanging love, hard work, and family first. We are not perfect, but that’s not the important thing. We are FAMILY and that is what matters most.

Love,
Amanda

Summer School

“Get over the idea that only children should spend their time in study. Be a student so long as you still have something to learn, and this will mean all your life.” ~Henry L. Doherty

When I look back at the summer of 2010, I will remember a time when I learned several things. I believe that we are never too old for learning and that changing from lessons learned is a part of what keeps us alive inside.

The time I spent with my husband this summer has taught me that couples must not forget each other. After the kids are grown and gone, the love and passion that sparked the relationship must remain. I learned this from long bike rides with my husband, when we counted the deer and bunnies on country roads. And from the long summer evenings when we sat on our front porch swing and listened to the rain while making plans for our future. I’ve learned just how much I love my husband, my best friend.

I’ve spent time with young people this summer who have taught me about play and imagination. Watching my little sister and my daughter play house and shopping just like grown-ups has reminded me that children have huge imaginations; but their play, conversation, and habits are imitations of what they see and hear from the real adults in their lives.

I’ve learned a thing or two about joy. My pastor reminded me of three things that are likely to rob a Christian of his or her joy. They are: circumstances, things, and people. Who knows why people want to rob others of joy. It’s a question to which the answer eludes me. Maybe it’s because of jealousy or because they want to see us fail. People love to try to shake the confidence that a well-grounded and well-prepared person has in himself. The truth is, ninety nine people can tell us something positive, but one can be that person who always has something hurtful to say, bringing a cloud of negativity wherever he goes. I’ve learned to try hard to make it a point to be counted in the ninety nine, not the one.

Lastly, I’ve spent precious time with grandparents who are growing older and their time in this world is becoming shorter. My daddy always says, “The best thing you can spend on your children is time.” He always spent time with me, and in that time I watched him care for elderly people in our lives, some of whom were not even kin to us. Now it’s my turn to help care for others and I’ve learned that time is the best thing we can spend on anyone we love. Time is one thing I can give and not mess up or regret. Sometimes it’s hard to care for elderly loved ones…there are good days and bad. I could shut myself away and pretend that things are the way they’ve always been, or I can be there as much as possible. One thing’s for sure: if I’m not there, I miss the good days. I miss the times when there is a smile or a laugh; a hint of the person I knew as a child. And if I miss the good days, I have fewer positive memories to help me through the bad days.

I have enjoyed the time I spent with my grandparents over the summer. They are the pieces of who I am today and the links to a past that represents strength and courage. I am learning that growing older affects even the young, and while there is nothing that can stop it, I can give my time, my prayers, and my love. These are three things that any person deserves to be surrounded with, no matter his or her age.

Dinner for Two

“A travel adventure has no substitute. It is the ultimate experience, your one big opportunity for flair.” -- Rosalind Massow

Summer is here and that means vacation! I just returned home from a cruise to Jamaica and Grand Cayman Island. The cruise experience was a first for me and my husband, and so was vacationing with 60 other people that we know. We traveled with Melanie Pascal’s Dance Creations and our dancers had the opportunity of a lifetime to not only sail the open seas, but to perform on the cruise ship. Our dancers were awesome because they work hard and train with the best. From the moment we stepped onto the ship, memories were being made. Yet, the performance was definitely the highlight of our vacation. Aside from performing, if someone asks me what I will remember the most about life on board, I will tell them it has to be the meals in the dining hall.

Each night was an interesting evening of elegant dining with everyone attending dressed in his or her best. It was a chance for our group to see each other and catch up on all the fun stuff we had done that day. Our men dressed a little nicer and our ladies had the opportunity to dress up and feel pretty as we showed off our new dresses we bought on the islands. From the moment we entered the dining hall, we were waited on hand and foot. The Maître’d greeted us with a smile and the waiting staff pulled out the chairs for the ladies and placed our napkins in our laps. Fine China and sparkling glasses decorated each table. Bread was delivered to each person and water poured into our glasses as we looked at the menu and “ooohed and ahhhed” over the choices.

Each meal we enjoyed in the dining hall was extravagant. It was definitely a sight for this Southern girl to see! It was the type of dining where you have three forks, two knives, and two spoons- you think there’s no possible way each person could need all that silverware, but we did!

Appetizers preceded the entrees and each plate of food was fancifully decorated in the finest culinary style. Things got really interesting when everyone seated at our table ordered something different. It was so much fun to see each plate and hear one another’s reactions as we took that first mouth watering bite. There was strawberry soup with fresh mint, lobster bisque, prime rib, shrimp, veal parmesan, grouper, and too many other items to name. There were items I had never heard of, and some that I could barely pronounce, but we tried them all. And just when we were stuffed to the gills and didn’t think we could hold another bite, the dessert menu was placed in our hands. My favorite dessert was the warm chocolate melting cake that surely lived up to its name.

Our waiter assured us that each dessert was calorie free and that salt air has been known to shrink clothes. I didn’t believe the part about “calorie free” but I can testify to the fact that salt air really does shrink a person’s clothes! There was something special in store for us each night in the dining hall. There were magic tricks from the waiting staff or a big song singing after the meal. Some nights the waiters jumped onto the tables and danced for us right there in the dining hall. We crowded around and twirled our napkins in the air, clapping and raising our glasses in excitement.

The truly amazing part of the dining experience was our view of the ocean as we ate our meals. Our table was seated at the back of the ship where huge glass windows provided a breathtaking view as we sailed the Caribbean. As I looked around I wondered if this was how the first class passengers aboard the Titanic felt when they dined so exquisitely in their day. Sometimes the ship rocked and we could see the water in our glass shake. One night, we actually wondered if our plates would stay on the table, but they did.

As all good times must come to an end, so did our time aboard the Carnival Destiny. It’s back to the old grind and reality on land. It’s back to paper plates and paper napkins and only on fork per meal at the Rorrer household. That’s OK because we like the plain and simple, but it was nice to enjoy such elegance for one week!

Goodbye Twenties

“When we grow old, there can only be one regret - not to have given enough of ourselves.”
Eleanora Duse quotes (Italian Actress. 1858-1924)

Dear Twenties,
I am writing you this letter to tell you goodbye. I know we’ve been together for an entire decade, but Thirty will be here soon, and quite frankly, I think it’s time that I move on. At times, it really is hard to imagine life without you, but like it or not, you must let me go.

I’ll never forget you. After all, we went through quite a lot together. I remember when we first met. We thought we ruled the world, you and I. Everything was there for the taking and we set off on quite a few adventures. Remember when we moved all the way to Louisiana? Just me and you, we set off down that long Interstate 10 in that little Chevy that took us all the way to Cajun Country and our first apartment. Looking back, I wonder how we lived off of Raman Noodles and Mac-n-cheese for all that time. Oh Twenties, I look back on that time we spent in Mississippi, South Carolina, and Texas and I wonder how we ever made it home. Those were good times, and it was tough when they ended, but there were greater things in store for us. We tried to make a home there, but we knew all along where my heart was. That’s why at 23, we came back to good ole North Carolina, where people don’t love me because they have to…they love me because they want to.

At 24 we took that big walk down the aisle. There was a handsome man waiting there when we arrived. By the way, I think that was the smartest thing you and I ever did. At 25, more changes came our way. There were diaper changes and late night feedings; and all the joys of Motherhood. 26 and 27 went by so fast that it seems I blinked and they were gone. I should have realized then that I was beginning to outgrow you, Twenties. Life just changed for me. I mean, as a wife and mother and student, I just didn’t have time for all the childish things that used to occupy our time.

At 28, I realized just how important family really is, even though I thought I already knew. It was pretty mature of you, Twenties, to help me realize that we no longer have time for bitterness or petty quarrels. And, I have to say thank you for helping me see that this body of mine will give out one day, so I have to take care of it now. No, I’m not talking about wrinkle creams and crash diets, but I am talking about sunscreen, exercise, and a healthy lifestyle. It’s ok, I think Thirty will like running just as much as we do. There are some things a girl just can’t do without.

At 29, we finally graduated from college and earned that degree we worked so hard for. It seems like it took us forever, but all the while we had a goal and we stuck to it. I’m glad we did. But you see, now we have accomplished all we set out to do. It’s time for new plans, new goals, new dreams; and I have outgrown you. Life is short and I must do all I can in the time I have; so I must let you go, too. Don’t worry, you’ll find some other young girl with her whole life ahead of her, and you two will get along fine. (For the next ten years.) Oh, don’t try to tell me I can’t make it without you or that I’m getting old. Gray hairs don’t scare me; that’s the one thing there is a cure for! So go now, Twenties, you’re holding me back! I’ll never forget you, but I need this change in my life.

Love,
Me

A New Journey Begins...

“We do not understand the intricate pattern of the stars in their courses, but we know that He who created them does, and just as surely as He guides them, He is charting a safe course for us.” ~ Billy Graham

The author T.S. Eliot wrote, “The end is also a beginning. The end is where we start from.” Now that my college graduation has come and gone, I see the truth in these words. As I sat at commencement in my cap and gown, I smiled as I remembered that first semester when my husband had to help me with math homework. I remembered that first day I toured the campus of UNCG and cried because it was so big and I was sure I would not be able to find my classes. My husband took my hand and told me all the reasons why I could do it. I still remember the overwhelming feeling that I would be lost or somehow swallowed up in all of the vastness of the campus. I remembered the days I would sit and study on the bench beneath the shade tree, sipping coffee to stay awake, determined to pass the next test. Everything was new and different when I began this journey, but with each step, God saw me safely through.

One fellow graduate candidly told me that I had “worked too hard”, and that the journey would have been more fun if I “had a life.” I just smiled and looked into the stands where I could see all the parents and grandparents who gave me life and instilled in me the values of hard work and perseverance. It was them who had confidence in me, believed I could do anything, including the impossible, and told me so. I looked at my husband and my daughter and I thought about how rich and blessed my life really is.

The commencement speaker read Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken,” and as I heard those familiar words, I couldn’t help but think of all the roads that led me to that moment in time. Different choices would have meant different roads and ultimately, a different me. Like the traveler in Frost’s poem, I too have taken the road less traveled. Some might think my life has been backwards, that I should have completed college before having a family. But for me, that support system of strong husband and family has made all the difference.

After graduation, I now find myself at another crossroad in the woods. An end that is really a beginning. An opportunity and an empowerment to expand myself and spread my wings. For me, as so many other graduates, this is a moment in time where I hang in the balance and the future looks and feels uncertain. Everyone keeps asking me where I will go from here. Of course I have plans, but the truth is, I have learned not to put too much stock in my own plans, especially since I don’t control the future. I have done my part to finish this portion of the journey and to finish well. I know in my heart who directs my path and I am confident that He will continue to guide me.

As I end this journey and begin a new one into the unknown future, I realize that I am changed. But it’s not the degree that changed me. Rather, it’s the years that have passed and the occurrences they brought with them. It’s the challenges that have been met and overcome. It’s the knowledge I have gained from both books and life; it’s what I choose to do with that knowledge which motivates me to enrich the lives of others. No matter how uncertain the economy, the job market, or the future may seem, no matter what challenges are ahead, I know things will turn out fine. I will find the path that God has for me and fill a future that is uniquely mine. And so, let this new journey begin…

Dance to your Dreams...

“Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another.” ~Anonymous

When I was a little girl, I had a sign that hung on the wall in my room that read: Dance to your dreams. My favorite necklace charm was a tiny pair of ballet shoes and I wore it every day for years. I took dance classes for many years and I can’t imagine the thousands of dollars my parents shelled out year after year on shoes, leotards, costumes, classes, competition fees, time, and travel. I lived for dance and I had big dreams of becoming a famous dancer and actress. I never made it to Broadway, but I have kept a love of dance and theatre in my heart for many years.

Now my daughter takes dance and last week was recital week. This is an incredibly busy week that any family with a dancer in it living in this town knows all about. There are late rehearsals, suppers eaten on the run, and mornings that come too early. There are technical rehearsals, dress rehearsals, and finally, the real show. A year of time, effort and practice cumulates in this one week and it all boils down to the final show. Moms and dancers fill the dressing rooms. There are costumes of all colors, Capezio tights, bobby pins, hair gels, tons of make-up, cameras, body glitter spray, and too many shoes to count! Surely if all of us moms had sons instead of daughters, we could save a ton of money, right? We could buy cleats and ball gloves instead of pink tights and tutus. We could teach them about sportsmanship and never have to worry about pirouettes and pleas. The numbers 5, 6, 7, 8 would not be engrained into our heads.

But as a former dancer myself, I have to say that there is nothing that compares with the experience of the recital. There is one thing I gained from those years of dance class that money can’t buy. And rest assured that our daughters will gain it too. It takes confidence to jump on that stage like you own it, so just ask any dancer who loves really loves it what it’s like to perform. She’ll tell you that nothing compares with the experience of performing under bright lights that illuminate the stage, surrounded by music that pumps in your head and body, and before an audience whose claps and screams penetrate the dancer’s heart in a way that is indescribable.

The girls who begin dance in their early years and continue dancing through high school share a special bond. Their bond is the ultimate example of sportsmanship. They learn together, perform together, win together, learn together, and cry together. They learn to move together and think together; they must trust each other and encourage one another over the years. Without a doubt, they become a team. And without a doubt, they share memories that will last a lifetime.

My dancing days aren’t completely over. Anyone who knows me knows that I still love to perform. But now I get to share in that unique experience with my daughter. As a backstage mom, I get to stand in the wings when it’s her time to shine. I actually prefer the wings of the stage as opposed to the audience because there, no one can see me biting my lips and wiping my tears. I have more anticipation than she does as I wonder: “Will she nail her arabesque? Will she remember to smile? Will she make it to her color?” When I see her on the stage, any thoughts about money, or lack of sleep, or one crazy hectic week disappear. I see a dancer who loves the stage, loves to dream, and has the confidence to face the lights and people with grace and poise. And that is worth every penny I spend.

Letter to my 3rd block class...

Dear 3rd Block,
Over the last four months, you and every student in our class has found a special place within my heart. From the first day of class, you challenged me as a new teacher and I often wondered if I was teaching you anything at all. Now that our time together as a class has come to an end, I want to tell you that it was YOU who taught me more than I could possibly have taught you. It was your class that taught me what it really means for a teacher to love her students. You taught me that in order for me to remain in this profession for years to come as I have planned, I need to see my students as individuals and that I must love each one in a unique way. And now I feel as if I’m leaving you or walking out empty handed. It is hard for me to go, but we both must move on. I want to give you something to reflect on, some knowledge, some sort of wisdom; something as special as what you have given me. I remembered a piece of paper I keep tucked away that was given to me years ago by my 6th grade teacher. I didn’t understand this piece at the time, but I have read it over and over through the years and I have found it to be very inspiring. The original piece was written by Paula Bachleda, and she offers some advice to some of life’s basic questions.

Who? It took me a while to realize that this is probably the most important question of all. Take time to discover who you are and be your own person. Strive to be honest, respectful, and happy. When you are at peace with yourself, everything else will fall into place. Just be careful not to wrap your identity in possessions. Allow yourself to grow and change. And remember always that you are not alone—you have your family, your friends, your guardian angel and God (not necessarily in that order!).

What? This is the tricky one, and at first this question had me fooled. I thought the question was, “What will I do today?” However, I found that things got really interesting when I instead asked, “What is my passion?” Discover what it is that burns inside you and keeps you going, then nurture it. Take it apart and build it back together. Do whatever you want with it, but never let it from your sight. Do it because that’s what you love to do. The joy that it brings you will keep you going through some of the doldrums of life.

When? This is the sneaky one. Do not ignore it. It will keep you balanced. Some things are best done now. Procrastination usually just creates more work. But keep in mind that there is a season for everything, and keep in mind that some things are better left for another day. As hard as it may be, remember to take time to rest and enjoy the miracle of each new day. With practice, you will learn the pleasure of doing some things now and the unique delight of waiting and planning for others.

Where? Surprisingly, this is the easiest one. You will always have the answer with you if you keep your home in your heart and put your heart into wherever you call home. Be an active part of your community and you will discover the special charm that will endear it to you. Remember always that the simplest act of kindness can make a difference, and that you can change the world.

Why? Never stop asking this one. It’s the one that will keep you growing. Let it. Let it challenge you when you’ve become too complacent. Let it shout at you when you are making decisions. Let it whisper to you when you lose sight of who you are or where you want to be. But you also need to be careful with this one. Sometimes the answer does not come for years, and sometimes it doesn’t come at all. Recognizing that basic fact can keep you sane and allow you to move on.

How? Ah, this is the one on which I can’t advise you! This is the one you will answer in your own special way. Just remember to believe in yourself and in miracles. Remember that the greatest discoveries come after stumbling over questions. Never think you know enough to stop learning. Instead challenge yourself to learn something new every day. Never underestimate your abilities and don’t let anyone else either. You have the mind and the strength to do great things, but you must combine those with willpower and a positive attitude. Where ever you go, whatever you do, I’ll never forget you! Always do your best and make me proud!

Thoughtfully,
Mrs. Rorrer
“The Goodest”

Smell the Flowers

“Don’t count every hour in the day. Instead, make every hour in the day count.” ~Anonymous

Last week I stuffed 100 Easter eggs in preparation for “the big hunt.” I was grumbling under my breath because I was frustrated. I felt like there were many other “more important” things I needed to be doing. I was frustrated because time always seems so limited, no matter what I’m doing. I was sure I didn’t have time to be stuffing eggs with ridiculously overpriced candy that would end up being an unnecessary temptation in my kitchen. “Who needs all this candy?” I asked myself. “My child doesn’t need it and neither do my hips!” And then it hit me. One day my little girl will be too big for frilly baskets and egg hunts. Even Santa Claus and Halloween costumes will eventually lose their magic. She’s growing up too fast, I thought. That realization sent a pain inside my heart.

The next day, our family took a trip to Lowes. Our mission: buy a few flowers to fill the empty pots on the front porch and buy some vegetable plants to prepare for our garden. As I strapped my daughter into her car seat, she asked me to ride in the back with her. This is something she asks from time to time and when she does, my husband usually doesn’t mind riding with her. I grumbled at her request because I do not like riding in the back; but I realized she just wanted to be near me, so I climbed in next to her. Only by riding in the back could I experience the ride through her eyes: the eyes of a child. Yes, I had been grateful for the warm sunshine that day, but it was my daughter who had reminded me to appreciate it; to experience its beauty.

Everything was new and beautiful to her. Spring is finally here, and her eyes were filled with excitement as she pointed out scenes from the landscape. There were blooms on the trees, cows in green pastures, and wispy clouds against the background of a bright blue sky. I looked at her and saw that she had removed her shoes. She had propped one bare foot in the window and her soft brown hair was blowing in the wind. For a moment I was envious of my daughter. I wanted her carefree and joyous attitude. I wanted to be free from responsibility and worry.

Sometimes we’re so busy with the adult world of responsibility that we neglect to appreciate the everyday beauty that surrounds us. Worrying about responsibility does no good and it keeps us from enjoying even the simple things we encounter. When do we lose the ability to see things as our children do? At what point in our lives do we lose that sense of wonderment and excitement about the world and nature around us? Children are far smarter than we give them credit for. Often, it’s adults who are blind and oblivious to the natural wonders right in front of us! We see without looking, hear without listening, and we fail to feel because we don’t stop to embrace.

Time keeps passing, and I’ve always heard that the older we get, the faster it goes. But time doesn’t speed up – we just lose our childlike sense of wonder because we replace it with schedules, deadlines, and activities we think are important but could probably do without. Some of these things are important and inevitable, but every once in while it doesn’t hurt to ride in the back seat…just to enjoy the ride. My Nannie always reminded me to “Take time to smell the flowers.” That day it was my daughter who reminded me to pick a few too; so I did.



This is one of the flowers that we picked out that day. It was so unique that we just had to take a picture of it. Seeing this flower reminded me of the following poem...one of my favorites.

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

By: Robert Frost

Forgiveness

“Forgiveness is the economy of the heart…forgiveness saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits.” ~Hannah Moore

I’ve been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. It’s something that isn’t always easy. I’ve noticed that people of all ages and backgrounds seem to cling to hurt and wrongdoings in some form or fashion. I’ve also noticed that the impact is greater and has the potential to be the most negative when we are hurt by those who are closest to us. And, those we love the most are often the hardest to forgive.

Sometimes the things we need to forgive are greater than one simple thought, action, or deed. Sometimes it’s a series of actions or inactions that hold us back, weigh us down, and ultimately prevent us from leading the quality of life that God would have us lead. When we allow the weeds of animosity and anger to fester in our hearts, it grows fast, and before we realize, it can affect every aspect of our lives.

Isaiah 49:16 says, “Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.” This verse reminds me that God loved me and sent His Son to die on the cross so that I could have the security of eternal salvation and be forgiven of my sins. I interpret the “walls” in this verse to mean any obstacle in life. God has forgiven me, but if I fail to forgive others, those walls can easily become obstacles between me and God. I didn’t make this up, Matthew 6:14-15 says so. If I expect my Heavenly Father to forgive me, then I must forgive others. I need God’s forgiveness on a daily basis, so I had better be about the business of forgiveness.

How often do we ask for God’s forgiveness, yet continue to cling to those little disturbances imposed by others in our daily lives? How often do we ourselves need to be forgiven, but harbor feelings of resentment towards others?

This Easter, I will remember that it was for my sins that Christ was crucified. I will celebrate my Savior’s resurrection and remember the ultimate example of love and forgiveness from my Heavenly Father. I pray that I will be able to forgive others and receive forgiveness when needed. I hope that anyone reading this will do the same. Forgiveness is, after all, an act of love. We cannot have one without the other, and it takes both to survive.

Kappa Delta Pi Induction

On March 24, 2010, I was inducted into Kappa Delta Pi, International Honor Society in Education. I worked hard for this achievement and it is an honor that I take very seriously both as a life long student of learning and as an educator. My husband and daughter were there to share in this special moment with me. Just as I accepted my certificate and pin, Lydia ran up to greet me. (She later told me that she thought they were giving me candy because the pin was still wrapped in a piece of plastic.) I accepted my certificate and a copy of the Society's Creed. The creed will be framed and hang on the wall of my classroom. What an awesome reminder of the privilege, opportunity, honor, and responsibility of being a teacher. I am proud to be a member of Kappa Delta Pi and I hope that practicing and reflecting on these ideals will help me to be the best educator I can be.

Kappa Delta Pi
International Honor Society in Education
Society Creed

Education is a vital force in any society that encourages universal welfare and individual progress. Education is likewise the cornerstone of democracy and the foundation for personal fulfillment. As an International Honor Society in Education, Kappa Delta Pi has adopted and continues to pledge fidelity to four cherished ideals: Humanity, Science, Service, and Toil.

The Ideal of Fidelity to Humanity is faith in the potential of human beings and in the improvement of the human condition through education; compassion in the contacts one has, as an educator, with humanity; and dedication to the concept that through continuous education, based upon equal opportunity. Persons of all ages, races, and creeds shall find increased opportunity for experiencing more meaningful lives.

The Ideal of Science implies that, as an educator, one will be faithful to the cause of free inquiry and will strive to eliminate prejudice and superstition by withholding judgment until adequate evidence is obtained. One will not distort evidence to support a favorite theory; be blinded by the new or spectacular; nor condemn the old simply because it is old.

The Ideal of Service is the very essence of education, which seeks advancement, not merely for self, but for society as well. The incentive of the great educators of the world has been their desire to serve humanity. Service in education implies living so that others are strengthened and inspired, and striving for the achievement of justice, peace, and a better way of life.

The Ideal of Toil demands the will to do the task that must be done, whether the task pleases or not, and faith in the social necessity and intrinsic reward of the education profession. It implies working with such faith and zeal that others are won to the cause of education. If one life has been given greater and nobler vision, toil has not been in vain.

So to Teach that my words and actions inspire a will to learn; so to serve that each day may enhance the growth of exploring minds; so to live that I may guide young and old to know the truth and love the right.

By accepting membership in Kappa Delta Pi, I have indicated my intention to achieve excellence and to subscribe to these ideals.
Amanda Rorrer
March 24, 2010

Chamber Spellin' Bee

On Tuesday March 16, 2010, four of my students formed a team to become the Prowling Panthers at the Eden Chamber of Commerce's Annual Spellin' Bee. I was very proud of the students who competed against other teams formed by local business owners. All funds raised from the event went to fund scholarships for Morehead High School seniors who plan to attend Rockingham Community College. We had a great time representing our school and taking part in this community event!

Although we learned that for fundraisers, a budget is often more useful than brains, students gave the adults a run for their money by correctly spelling words like antidisestablishmentarianism. Can you spell that off the top of your head? No dictionaries were allowed, and teams were only given three "free" misses!

A special thank you to following sponsors of the Prowling Panthers: Judith Warren Boutique and Bridal, Eden Drug, Lisa Doss at Eden's Own Journal, and one anonymous donor. Thank you for you support and the opportunity to participate in this event!

Meet Chunk...

Rockingham County Humane Society
Featured Pet
Chunk
Chunk is a 7 month old Beagle mix. He is neutered and current on his rabies shot. Chunk is a little shy until he gets to know you. But once he does, he has lots of love and licks to share. Chunk needs a home to give him the love and attention he deserves. If you are interested in adopting Chunk or seeing any other animals available for adoption, please visit the Rockingham County Humane Society at 205 Boone Road in Eden, NC. Our adoption fee is $100 for puppies and dogs and $65 for kittens and cats. The adoption fee includes spaying and neutering, shots, and de-worming for all animals. The Rockingham County Humane Society is open to the public Wednesday through Saturday from 11-4.

Pusher or Puller?

“If you only do what you know you can-you never do very much.”
~Tom Krause

I write with the hope that I inspire others. But writing, like many other things in life, comes with risks. There is always a risk of failure and a sort of sensitivity involved in pouring one’s thoughts out only to leave them open to critique. Last week, another writer asked me where my inspiration comes from. The question alone was enough to inspire me to investigate an answer.

I can name countless things that surround me and provide inspiration. I try to be in tune with the world around me...the people I come in contact with, the things I hear, the things I see. Inspiration comes from my family, other writers, books, sermons, conversations, and even dreams. Sometimes the inspiration pushes me to take action. Sometimes, it pushes me to reflect upon my own actions. Either way, I think inspiration serves as one main purpose: to do something; to act in some way. The choice of whether that action is positive or negative lies within the individual.
There are people who inspire me, but I have learned that people (including myself) are fallible and will inevitably let you down. So, it is best not to put too much stock in the individual. God, on the other hand, is perfect and He never gives us more than we can handle. Furthermore, He never gives us a task without making sure we have to tools to complete what is asked of us. To me, that is comforting inspiration.

Yet, I know it’s important to have role models, mentors, and teachers for some things in life. Such people, those who have “been there and done that”, have the ability to inspire others to push past their achievements and accomplish greater things. Or, they can stop us dead in our tracks with discouragement, pulling us down to become “dead in the water.” So I ask myself: “Am I a pusher or a puller? Am I just waiting for someone to come along and have an influence over me or am I motivated to be that positive influence in someone else’s life?”

Webster’s dictionary defines inspiration as any influence that stimulates thought or action. I wonder how great the world would be if we all put thought into our actions and strived to influence others in a positive way. And, that effect could be doubled if those thoughts included people other than ourselves. In order to be open to inspiration, no matter how big or small, we must have our ears, eyes, minds, and hearts open. I believe having these things open allows us to invite in positive inspiration and weed out the negative influences that only bring us down.

I’m just an ordinary person with an ordinary life. But I believe that God uses ordinary people every day to accomplish great things for Him. I believe we should live each day with inspiration to influence others that they might see Him in our lives and come to know Jesus as their personal Savior. Each day I want to be in tune with the needs of those around me so that I might be the influence that stimulates positive action. Join me, dear reader. Open your heart, lend an ear, extend a hand, show a smile… and inspire someone today!

MHS 5K Results

The Lord blessed us with bright sunshine, cool temperatures, and blue skies for the Run to the Endzone 5K at Morehead High School yesterday. Panther Pride filled the air as parents and students and various other people from the community came together to make this event a success. The kickoff for the event included a message from the mayor, the presentation of the American flag from MHS ROTC students, and the singing of the national anthem. A local pastor led the crowd in prayer, thanking God for our blessings and the opportunity to come together as we did. I felt a chill go up my arm as I took a moment to thank God that I live in a town where we have the freedom to publicly thank God for his blessings and ask for his protection.

The race began and runners took off straight down the hill on Panther Lane. As much as I wanted to sprint, I tried to remind myself that feeling was just adrenaline talking and that I needed to save some of it for the next hill...going up Pierce Street. I ran up Pierce Street, which is nothing I haven't done before, it's just that I hadn't done it lately. This was where breathing became a challenge and I really had to focus. I made it to the top. Ahhhhh...I knew I had a little time to run downhill and on some flat land before conquering the other hills to come. This was the time I tried to use to set my race pace and coordinate my breathing. The other hills were difficult, but I seemed to be able to navigate them a little better than Pierce Street. Luckily, I was familiar with the layout of the course. I have ran the neighborhood countless times when training for a half marathon a few years ago. When I crossed the two mile mark, my watch displayed 17:54. I was glad of that, but I lost time climbing the hills in the last mile. Going back up Panther Lane was definitely challenging. On Stadium Drive, it was tempting to increase speed as adrenaline began taking over once again. But I held back because I knew I would need everything I had left in me to climb Panther Lane to the finish. I rounded the corner and took off up the hill. I don't really remember feeling my legs at this point. I just remember breathing and focusing on the top of hill, reminding myself to give it everything I had at this point, because that great feeling you get when crossing the finish would only last for a moment.

I crossed the finish line in 29 minutes and 54 seconds. This was a little bit of a disappointing time for me, considering that it was about four minutes over the time I finished the last 5K. But that disappointment didn't last long when I saw the results and learned I had won first place in my age group. This was the first time I have ever won a first place trophy for running, so it was a special accomplishment for me.


Lydia enjoyed participating in the Tot Trot. This was her first race ever and I hope she learned some things about sportsmanship and the value of trying your best and finishing what you start. The picture below is proof that this was a fun filled event for people of all ages!


Thanks to those who worked hard to make this race a success and raise funds for athletics at our school. I enjoyed seeing students involved and hope they'll participate again next year! Here are some other great photos of the event:

5K Run to the Endzone

Come on out this Saturday and show your support for the Morehead Football Team!

Date
Saturday, March 13, 2010 @ 9:00 AM local time
Address
Morehead Senior High School Football Stadium
134 North Pierce Street

Run To The EndZone 2010- Sponsored by the Morehead High School TouchDown Football Boosters Club. All proceeds will benefit the MHS Football Team. The Course will take runners through the Central area of Eden ending in the EndZone of MHS Staduim. Moderate hills, relatively flat. Cash Prize $$$ Overall Men- $150 Overall Women- $150
CHECK IN AT MHS CAFETERIA EDEN, NC Saturday March 13th 07:00-08:45AM. EARLY PACKET PICKUP AT MHS CAFETERIA Friday March 12th 6:00-7:30 PM.

Don't feel like running? That's OK, You can walk or bring the kids to sign up for the 1 mile Tot Trot! This event is going to be great, so don't miss out on the FUN and the chance to show your school spirit! Leave your paw print by showing your community support!

Strength for Running and Life

“If you can’t fly then run. If you can’t run then walk. If you can’t walk then crawl. But whatever you do keep moving.” ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Everyone has heard that old saying “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” I don’t know who said it first, but surely it was someone who was struggling with something in life. So I wonder, what is it that really makes us tough? What makes us strong? And when is it ok to not have to be tough? These are the thoughts floating in my head as I round the corner at the 1.5 mile mark in my run. I glance at my watch. 15 minutes and 7 seconds. Not an Olympic qualifying time, but understand that two years ago, running this same stretch of road often took me 20 to 25 minutes. I can see that I’ve gained strength. My form has improved and I no longer need to puff my inhaler before I reach the top of that hill I just climbed.

God has granted me the ability to run and running has helped me to find strength in everyday situations. Running has helped me push myself to succeed, and that push for success has spilled over into other areas of my life. I use that time to reflect, ask questions, make plans… and then pray about those same questions and plans. Without a doubt, my faith makes me strong and it is an important part of my personal journey.

Along the next stretch of road I begin thinking about where I’ve been, where I am, where I want to be, and how to get there. Some people say that the tough times in our lives are often what make us stronger. I agree and I remember the time I was in a wheelchair for four months following a car accident in 2001. Although I didn’t know it at the time, God was working in my life to change me and make me stronger. If someone had told me then that I would be where I am today, doing the things I do, I would have assured them they had my future confused with someone else’s.

My mind drifts further as I think about the last half-marathon I ran a few months ago. I spent the summer training for it and I finished the race; but, not without mistakes and upsets which included a fall that messed up my shoulder and ankle. Finishing that race was tough, especially after my fall. I was mad, aggravated, and I wanted to cry. In fact, I did cry for a moment. And then I remembered why I was there. I was there to RUN, not walk, not cry, and certainly not to pout. I remember touching my necklace and reciting the verse inscribed on the back: Philippians 4:13. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” And so, with God’s grace, I continued running and finished the race strong.

I was reminded of some things during that race that will help me be stronger in life. No matter how hard we train or prepare for life, there is no teacher as great as the real thing we call experience. Nothing other than the real thing could have prepared me for Maryland’s hills of Antietam Battlefield that I encountered in that course. In life, there will be bumps and bruises… or twisted ankles and sore shoulders. The trick is not simply getting up after the fall, it’s the attitude we have once we are back on our feet. We have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and eventually we cross the finish line. We should never plow over someone else in an effort to get there, yet I have found that finish line to be much sweeter when I smile along the way. The lessons learned during the tough times in life do make us stronger and our attitude is a reflection of our character. Personally, I find great comfort in knowing that even in the tough times, I am not alone. I have a God who has blessed me with His comfort and surrounded me with a wonderful support system of family and friends.

And now, as I finish my run and my meandering contemplations about the struggles of life and what makes us strong, I know that I am not here to walk, nor pout, nor cry. I am here to RUN. I am here to do all I can in the time I have, however long (or short) it may be. In today’s fast-paced world, we’re all running the race of life. So, double-knot your sneakers and enjoy the run.

Meet Hilton...

Rockingham County Humane Society
Featured Pet

Hilton

Please come in and meet me today! I’m a handsome one and a half year old terrier mix and I’m available for adoption now! My favorite pastimes are walking, running, snuggling in front of the TV and reading Bark Magazine. I like adults, kids and other dogs (except boxers). I don’t know why I’m still living at the Humane Society. Everyone overlooks me and this makes me sad. I’m smart, neutered, current on my shots, and heartworm negative. Everyone says I look just like Brad Pitt. My adoption fee is only $75. If you are interested in adopting Hilton or seeing any other animals available for adoption, please visit the Rockingham County Humane Society at 205 Boone Road in Eden, NC. Our adoption fee is $100 for puppies and dogs and $60 for kittens and cats. The adoption fee includes spaying and neutering, shots, and de-worming for all animals. The Rockingham County Humane Society is open to the public Wednesday through Saturday from 11 to 4.

My Daybook Reflection

"I write entirely to find out what I'm thinking, what I'm looking at, and what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear." ~Joan Didion

Dear Students,

There are 48 hours in the weekend and I spent roughly 14 of them grading 65 Daybooks. Thank you for making each one different and unique, interesting and enjoyable to read. This took the “work” out of grading them! There were no two entries alike and I loved getting lost in the pages of your writing! I want you to know that as I read them, I was making notes about your thoughts, suggestions, concerns, and ideas you shared with me in the reflection letters. We’ll talk soon about the specifics as they apply to each class.

The Daybook is our space to connect literature and writing. I know that times, it is difficult to write about the literature and write about ways that it connects to our lives. But I can already see the progression in the entries from the first to the last. One goal I have for you is to consider and develop your style and voice as a writer and responder to the literature. Each of us has a voice inside…we just need to discover it. Discovery is the easy part because you know yourself better than anyone else! Your voice as a writer is in there, so let it come out in your own creative style-one like no other!

Developing is the hard part…but it’s the guts AND glory of your efforts. I wish I could tell you there is a magic formula for developing as a writer. I’d be lying if I did. Developing comes from writing, and writing, and writing. Revising, reworking, and sharing—these are important parts of the development process too. I do not expect entries to be perfect, but I do what to give you the opportunity to explore and practice. That is why it is necessary to write as often as we do. Just remember that as we live, we grow and develop every day. That’s one of the challenges of living, and the same is true with writing. Each experience we try to put into words, each piece we complete, helps us grow as a person and as a writer.

~Mrs. Rorrer

Meet Hayley and Willow...

Here are photos and information about two very special puppies in need of a loving home. Each week my daughter and I visit the Rockingham County Humane Society to drop off food, kitty litter, or other supplies which are in constant demand. While we are there, we take the time to photograph a dog or cat and submit the picture to Eden's Own Journal as the Featured Pet. I'm glad warmer days are on the way because that means the days we can spend volunteering more of our time to love and care for these animals will be here soon.

Rockingham County Humane Society Featured Pet
Hayley
Hayley is a seven month old Beagle mix who is very sweet, loving and great with people. Hayley is also very good with children. Hayley is a spayed female that is current on her rabies shot. Hayley came to us as a tiny puppy and is the last in her litter to be adopted. She is very calm for such a young dog and loves for people to talk to her. If you are interested in adopting Hayley and providing her with a good home, please visit the Rockingham County Humane Society at 205 Boone Road in Eden, NC. Our adoption fee is $100 for puppies and dogs and $65 for kittens and cats. The adoption fee includes spaying and neutering, shots, and de-worming for all animals. The Rockingham County Humane Society is open to the public Wednesday through Saturday from 11 to 4.

Rockingham County Humane Society
Featured Pet
Willow
Willow is a seven month old Terrier mix that is very energetic, loving, and friendly. Willow never meets a stranger and loves attention. Willow is a spayed female that is current on her rabies shot. Willow came to us as a tiny puppy and has waited patiently for her forever home. She knows her name and wags her tail when people enter a room. She would love to greet you after a long day at work with the same excitement. If you are interested in adopting Willow and providing her with a good home, please visit the Rockingham County Humane Society at 205 Boone Road in Eden, NC. Our adoption fee is $100 for puppies and dogs and $65 for kittens and cats. The adoption fee includes spaying and neutering, shots, and de-worming for all animals. The Rockingham County Humane Society is open to the public Wednesday through Saturday from 11 to 4.

Endurance for the Race

I Corinthians 9:24-25 Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receives the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that strives for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible one.

As I laced up my shoes for as run, my daughter said, “I want to go! I want to go!” I thought for a second and said, “Sure, get your shoes on.” She ran to her room and came back with tennis shoes on her feet. (If only she would move that fast in the mornings!) We went outside and I began to show her how to stretch and explain the importance of staying on the correct side of the road. She promised to listen to my directions so that we could run safely. I told her we could walk a little if she felt like she needed to rest, but no matter what, I would not carry her.

I didn’t know how long this sudden fascination with running would last, so I wanted to stay close to the house for our run. We set off down a dead-end road and she ran all the way to the end without stopping (1/2 mile). I expected her to be tuckered out when we returned to the top of the road, but she wanted to keep going. We turned down another road and continued running. I was amazed at those little legs that had to work twice as hard as mine. “This is fun, Mommy!” she yelled.

We ran two whole miles together. Not bad for a four-year-old. We had to slow down a few times, but I urged her to keep on going, to keep moving, and never stop completely. I explained what “endurance” means in terms that she could understand: It’s practicing really hard so our muscles will get stronger. Eventually, we can go faster and farther.

When she said her prayers that night, she said, “Thank-you God for Mommy. We had a good run today.” I tucked her in with a smile on my face and walked away amazed, once again, at my daughter. Her simple prayer reminded me of the ease with which we should be able to approach God in prayer. I also realized that prayer is a vital part of what helps Christians build “endurance” for daily living.

As a runner, I build endurance by logging lots of miles. Sometimes these miles are in less than ideal conditions like extreme cold and even rain. But that’s life! The sun doesn’t always shine and sometimes it’s cold and rainy. There are times in life when we have to slow down; we might want to give up, but we must keep moving…and praying. Sometimes we find ourselves running on the wrong side of the road. Sometimes, it’s the wrong road altogether. Prayer builds Christian endurance by putting us on track for the direction God would have us go. The more we practice prayer, the closer we are drawn to Him and the more prepared we are to handle the difficult days in life, those days when we can’t see the road at all.

As a runner, I want to build endurance and have a healthy body with a strong heart, muscles, and lungs. But as a Christian, I want to build endurance by having a strong relationship with God, by studying His word, and praying about all things. Practicing these things is like the “stretch” before the run. They help one endure with a strong spirit and positive attitude. All the while, we are being shaped to go further and faster for God.

God doesn’t expect us to be perfect, but he does expect us to keep trying and to look to Him for guidance. But unlike my efforts to teach my daughter to endure by not carrying her, God does carry us when we are weary from the race of life. All we have to do is ask, and He will see us to the finish line.