Letter to my Daddy

"I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all."
-- Laura Ingalls Wilder

Dear Daddy,

You really gave me a scare last week, and everyone else that loves you, too. I had planned a birthday surprise for you, but it was nothing major, just cake and ice cream and our family get-together. I didn’t get you a present to open. As I thought about things and the events that unfolded over the next few days, I regretted that I didn’t have a gift for you.

As I was wondering the gift shop at the hospital, I really felt out of sorts. I had stepped away from the room to make some phone calls, clear my head, and just make sense of all that had happened. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but really, God showed me what it was.

I’ll never forget the look you gave me as you lowered your glasses and saw the price tag when I brought back the coffee mug. (Sorry, I forgot to take it off.) You asked me if I really paid $14 for a coffee mug. The answer is no—I paid $28 for two. I know you have a gazillion mugs, but you didn’t have one like this, and neither did I. And no, it wasn’t the mug that God was showing me, but the message behind it.

The inscription on the mug says: Appreciate the little things, because one day you’ll back and realize they were the big things. My eyes welled up with tears when I read the words. As I turned the mug in my hand, I saw the figure watering the small bush and the larger tree next to it. My tears were no longer contained in my eyes; they were streaming down my face. I know it’s not even scripture, but I think that is one of the neat things about it. God reveals Himself to us in ways that surround us all the time. Sometimes I let myself become consumed with things that I make out to be big things, when really, they are small potatoes in the grand scheme of life. That’s part of being human, and sometimes God likes to slow us down and make us reconsider our perspective.

I immediately thought of you and of those I love the most in this life. I thought of your love of flowers and the outdoors, and how you instilled in me that same love. I realized that my happiest childhood memories are of us working together in the yard. My happiest memories as an adult are times I have spent working in the flower and vegetable gardens with Robert and Lydia. I remembered Nannie and how much she loved flowers. I remembered how you taught me the names of them and how Nannie sang to them to “get them to grow.” I’ve tried to pass this love on to Lydia. We’ve had her in the dirt since before she could walk and I’ve taught her the names as well. Robert works with her patiently in the vegetable garden, just as his grandpa did with him.

You see, I can’t put a price on those memories. I don’t need a mug to remind me to remember, but I thought you could think of me and I of you when we can’t be near and know how much we love each other. God reminded me that the little things in life should be the things we cherish the most. He did this in a way that was much more personal than any cheesy “priceless” MasterCard commercial. I answered by saying, “Ok God, you’ve got my attention. Thanks for saving my Daddy. I promise to pay more attention to the little things that I am so blessed to have. I’m trying to do the right thing in so many different directions of my life, I still make mistakes, and I need you to show me what the right things are.”

There in the hospital, you told me that everything happens for a reason, and God never puts more on us than we can handle. Even in the midst of things, you were comforting and parenting me. The thought of not have you as a presence in my life was very bleak and scary, but I know it is a part of growing up, growing older, and living life. There is no possession that could compare or replace those who I love the most. I spent years searching to fill a void because I didn’t have the capability at the time to realize the love surrounding me or the importance of the little things. I went to Texas and back, came home with an empty heart, and only then did I begin to treasure the little things that family provides. Over time, and with maturity, God has granted me a wonderful husband and beautiful daughter that have shown me more love than I thought I was even worth at times. They have helped me prioritize what is important and view life with a larger perspective. Our love is not found in grand things, but in small things we often take for granted. I think it all comes down to what a person’s view of big and small really is proportionately, in one’s heart and head.

I am thankful that I have a house, which is a necessity in life. It may not be the biggest or most fancy house, but it is ours and we have made a home. There is always a stack of bills that must be paid, but our table is blessed and our bellies are full. For us, these are the big things. We work for them and we have pride in what we do, but at the end of the day, it’s the little things that provide us with joy. Little things include: sitting in the front porch swing and planning our future, snuggling and laughing during Scooby Doo cartoons, reading bedtime stories, a refrigerator covered with memories and artwork, a note on the counter that says “I love you,” tomato sandwiches for breakfast, a dog at my feet after a hard day’s work, talking to you on the phone for an hour and not even realizing that an hour has passed, a kiss on the cheek for no reason at all, the sound and feeling of laughter with family, and evening walks.

We were more than lucky on April 10th, 2011, and that’s no little thing. I love you very much and I appreciate all that you are to me.

Love,
Amanda