On Being a Mom...

A daughter is a little girl who grows up to be a friend. ~Author Unknown

When my daughter was a baby, I admit that I was often frustrated. As a new mother, I didn’t exactly find the whole motherhood thing to be all I had envisioned. She cried and I cried…and I’m pretty sure there were times when my husband cried too. But we all found a happy medium and here we are: taking one day at a time and actually loving it. We are a happy family.

Things have changed for us over the last four and a half years. There are no more dirty diapers and binkies are a thing of the past. No bottles and no jars of gushy, stinky baby food. (Today it’s mostly plain spaghetti noodles and chicken nuggets.) These are the little things that pass with time, as all things do. And when they do, new challenges arise to take their place. We’ve survived potty training, monsters in the dark, the first day of preschool – which I have to say was harder for us than for her.

Now we’re at a special time – the time when mom and dad are still cool, we still have most all of the answers we need to satisfy her ever-inquisitive mind, and we’re still her best buddies and biggest heroes. She still likes to be held and snuggled and doesn’t mind giving away those precious kisses and hugs. I guess as parents we’re still in a dream state because it seems like she’ll be our girl forever. We’ve not yet been tainted by teenage driving, the wrong boyfriend, or anything else that may surface in the teenage years.

Sometimes my daughter and I get to spend entire days together and do special girl things like shopping and going to lunch. Yesterday she wanted to help me in the kitchen, so I let her stand in the chair to wash the dishes. I didn’t even point out that some of the dishes still had suds on them when she placed them in the drainer. The important thing was that she wanted to help. She wanted to be with me, doing whatever I was doing. She felt empowered when I trusted her to wash the dishes “all by herself.”

I’ve learned a lot from watching my daughter over the last four years. She is not the only one who has been changing and growing. I may have potty trained her, but she is constantly life-training me. I’ve learned more about the person I want to be and I think that if I strive each day to be a little more like my daughter, I will be a better person. She’s eager to help others and loves her friends. Their happiness and feelings are of great importance to her. If they are sad, chances are, she is sad too. When she loves, there is no middle ground. She loves whole-heartedly and unconditionally. And in the same breath, she is learning to say “I’m sorry” when necessary. The difference between her and most adults I know is that I can look in her eyes and see that her apologies are sincere.

Sometimes I think she got the raw end of the deal by getting me for a mom. Surely there are mothers out there who are more fun, could give her more things in life, or could play pretend and Barbies better than I do. There are moms who can tie a prettier bow in a ponytail and bake better cookies. But there’s one thing they can’t do, and that’s love her like I do. I don’t always have the most patience and sometimes my frustrations shine through, despite efforts to stay calm. But we still enjoy those special times when it’s just us two, painting our nails, reading a book, or singing together in the car. Her smile can light up a room and she is my best girl friend.

So while she is learning to spell with the alphabet letters that decorate my refrigerator, I am learning to love with a more open heart and appreciate the tiny hands and little feet that make a big impression on everyone we meet.