Monday, May 24, 2010

A New Journey Begins...

“We do not understand the intricate pattern of the stars in their courses, but we know that He who created them does, and just as surely as He guides them, He is charting a safe course for us.” ~ Billy Graham

The author T.S. Eliot wrote, “The end is also a beginning. The end is where we start from.” Now that my college graduation has come and gone, I see the truth in these words. As I sat at commencement in my cap and gown, I smiled as I remembered that first semester when my husband had to help me with math homework. I remembered that first day I toured the campus of UNCG and cried because it was so big and I was sure I would not be able to find my classes. My husband took my hand and told me all the reasons why I could do it. I still remember the overwhelming feeling that I would be lost or somehow swallowed up in all of the vastness of the campus. I remembered the days I would sit and study on the bench beneath the shade tree, sipping coffee to stay awake, determined to pass the next test. Everything was new and different when I began this journey, but with each step, God saw me safely through.

One fellow graduate candidly told me that I had “worked too hard”, and that the journey would have been more fun if I “had a life.” I just smiled and looked into the stands where I could see all the parents and grandparents who gave me life and instilled in me the values of hard work and perseverance. It was them who had confidence in me, believed I could do anything, including the impossible, and told me so. I looked at my husband and my daughter and I thought about how rich and blessed my life really is.

The commencement speaker read Robert Frost’s poem “The Road Not Taken,” and as I heard those familiar words, I couldn’t help but think of all the roads that led me to that moment in time. Different choices would have meant different roads and ultimately, a different me. Like the traveler in Frost’s poem, I too have taken the road less traveled. Some might think my life has been backwards, that I should have completed college before having a family. But for me, that support system of strong husband and family has made all the difference.

After graduation, I now find myself at another crossroad in the woods. An end that is really a beginning. An opportunity and an empowerment to expand myself and spread my wings. For me, as so many other graduates, this is a moment in time where I hang in the balance and the future looks and feels uncertain. Everyone keeps asking me where I will go from here. Of course I have plans, but the truth is, I have learned not to put too much stock in my own plans, especially since I don’t control the future. I have done my part to finish this portion of the journey and to finish well. I know in my heart who directs my path and I am confident that He will continue to guide me.

As I end this journey and begin a new one into the unknown future, I realize that I am changed. But it’s not the degree that changed me. Rather, it’s the years that have passed and the occurrences they brought with them. It’s the challenges that have been met and overcome. It’s the knowledge I have gained from both books and life; it’s what I choose to do with that knowledge which motivates me to enrich the lives of others. No matter how uncertain the economy, the job market, or the future may seem, no matter what challenges are ahead, I know things will turn out fine. I will find the path that God has for me and fill a future that is uniquely mine. And so, let this new journey begin…

Friday, May 7, 2010

Dance to your Dreams...

“Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another.” ~Anonymous

When I was a little girl, I had a sign that hung on the wall in my room that read: Dance to your dreams. My favorite necklace charm was a tiny pair of ballet shoes and I wore it every day for years. I took dance classes for many years and I can’t imagine the thousands of dollars my parents shelled out year after year on shoes, leotards, costumes, classes, competition fees, time, and travel. I lived for dance and I had big dreams of becoming a famous dancer and actress. I never made it to Broadway, but I have kept a love of dance and theatre in my heart for many years.

Now my daughter takes dance and last week was recital week. This is an incredibly busy week that any family with a dancer in it living in this town knows all about. There are late rehearsals, suppers eaten on the run, and mornings that come too early. There are technical rehearsals, dress rehearsals, and finally, the real show. A year of time, effort and practice cumulates in this one week and it all boils down to the final show. Moms and dancers fill the dressing rooms. There are costumes of all colors, Capezio tights, bobby pins, hair gels, tons of make-up, cameras, body glitter spray, and too many shoes to count! Surely if all of us moms had sons instead of daughters, we could save a ton of money, right? We could buy cleats and ball gloves instead of pink tights and tutus. We could teach them about sportsmanship and never have to worry about pirouettes and pleas. The numbers 5, 6, 7, 8 would not be engrained into our heads.

But as a former dancer myself, I have to say that there is nothing that compares with the experience of the recital. There is one thing I gained from those years of dance class that money can’t buy. And rest assured that our daughters will gain it too. It takes confidence to jump on that stage like you own it, so just ask any dancer who loves really loves it what it’s like to perform. She’ll tell you that nothing compares with the experience of performing under bright lights that illuminate the stage, surrounded by music that pumps in your head and body, and before an audience whose claps and screams penetrate the dancer’s heart in a way that is indescribable.

The girls who begin dance in their early years and continue dancing through high school share a special bond. Their bond is the ultimate example of sportsmanship. They learn together, perform together, win together, learn together, and cry together. They learn to move together and think together; they must trust each other and encourage one another over the years. Without a doubt, they become a team. And without a doubt, they share memories that will last a lifetime.

My dancing days aren’t completely over. Anyone who knows me knows that I still love to perform. But now I get to share in that unique experience with my daughter. As a backstage mom, I get to stand in the wings when it’s her time to shine. I actually prefer the wings of the stage as opposed to the audience because there, no one can see me biting my lips and wiping my tears. I have more anticipation than she does as I wonder: “Will she nail her arabesque? Will she remember to smile? Will she make it to her color?” When I see her on the stage, any thoughts about money, or lack of sleep, or one crazy hectic week disappear. I see a dancer who loves the stage, loves to dream, and has the confidence to face the lights and people with grace and poise. And that is worth every penny I spend.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Letter to my 3rd block class...

Dear 3rd Block,
Over the last four months, you and every student in our class has found a special place within my heart. From the first day of class, you challenged me as a new teacher and I often wondered if I was teaching you anything at all. Now that our time together as a class has come to an end, I want to tell you that it was YOU who taught me more than I could possibly have taught you. It was your class that taught me what it really means for a teacher to love her students. You taught me that in order for me to remain in this profession for years to come as I have planned, I need to see my students as individuals and that I must love each one in a unique way. And now I feel as if I’m leaving you or walking out empty handed. It is hard for me to go, but we both must move on. I want to give you something to reflect on, some knowledge, some sort of wisdom; something as special as what you have given me. I remembered a piece of paper I keep tucked away that was given to me years ago by my 6th grade teacher. I didn’t understand this piece at the time, but I have read it over and over through the years and I have found it to be very inspiring. The original piece was written by Paula Bachleda, and she offers some advice to some of life’s basic questions.

Who? It took me a while to realize that this is probably the most important question of all. Take time to discover who you are and be your own person. Strive to be honest, respectful, and happy. When you are at peace with yourself, everything else will fall into place. Just be careful not to wrap your identity in possessions. Allow yourself to grow and change. And remember always that you are not alone—you have your family, your friends, your guardian angel and God (not necessarily in that order!).

What? This is the tricky one, and at first this question had me fooled. I thought the question was, “What will I do today?” However, I found that things got really interesting when I instead asked, “What is my passion?” Discover what it is that burns inside you and keeps you going, then nurture it. Take it apart and build it back together. Do whatever you want with it, but never let it from your sight. Do it because that’s what you love to do. The joy that it brings you will keep you going through some of the doldrums of life.

When? This is the sneaky one. Do not ignore it. It will keep you balanced. Some things are best done now. Procrastination usually just creates more work. But keep in mind that there is a season for everything, and keep in mind that some things are better left for another day. As hard as it may be, remember to take time to rest and enjoy the miracle of each new day. With practice, you will learn the pleasure of doing some things now and the unique delight of waiting and planning for others.

Where? Surprisingly, this is the easiest one. You will always have the answer with you if you keep your home in your heart and put your heart into wherever you call home. Be an active part of your community and you will discover the special charm that will endear it to you. Remember always that the simplest act of kindness can make a difference, and that you can change the world.

Why? Never stop asking this one. It’s the one that will keep you growing. Let it. Let it challenge you when you’ve become too complacent. Let it shout at you when you are making decisions. Let it whisper to you when you lose sight of who you are or where you want to be. But you also need to be careful with this one. Sometimes the answer does not come for years, and sometimes it doesn’t come at all. Recognizing that basic fact can keep you sane and allow you to move on.

How? Ah, this is the one on which I can’t advise you! This is the one you will answer in your own special way. Just remember to believe in yourself and in miracles. Remember that the greatest discoveries come after stumbling over questions. Never think you know enough to stop learning. Instead challenge yourself to learn something new every day. Never underestimate your abilities and don’t let anyone else either. You have the mind and the strength to do great things, but you must combine those with willpower and a positive attitude. Where ever you go, whatever you do, I’ll never forget you! Always do your best and make me proud!

Thoughtfully,
Mrs. Rorrer
“The Goodest”